Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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