Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize