I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
