You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
