i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
