you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize