Non-Jews are for practice
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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