Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
