You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
