she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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