dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
oh god was she eating orange peels again
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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