so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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