I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The ass gains better be worth it
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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