I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
