Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
