Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
