Small penises have feelings too.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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