i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
