There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
