i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just invented taco cereal.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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