oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
