You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
