Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
