I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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