I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
