i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
