Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
