All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
