oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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