Christians are straight up FREAKS
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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