He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
