our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
