he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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