she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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