Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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