I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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