Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
