i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
