so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
