Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize
