we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize