Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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