yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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