Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
