I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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