Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
