But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
