So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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