He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
