its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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