While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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