Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
