I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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