Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Are we still banned from the library?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
