last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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