If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
she woke up with a sticky ear
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
