i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
