Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
