i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
