i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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