we're chasing vodka with high fives
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Randomize
