Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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