Capitaan dildo arrescate!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
