we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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