You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
