My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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