..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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